Gopher language

Gophers can speak English although they have very specific terms and phrases for Gopher-related ideas and concepts. These terms are usually common English words, but they have completely different meanings due to being directly influenced by the Gopher’s limited vocabulary.

While Gophers are capable of reading, they are only taught via whole-language and are incapable of understanding phoenetic pronunciation. As such, while they can read and speak English, they have a strict upper limit of how capable they can get.

Much like young human children, Gophers have difficulty pronouncing the letter “r”. They often swap it for a “w” sound.

Common vocabulary and phrases

The dialect spoken among the Gophers has a few words that, while aren’t necessarily unique, can have a different meaning when used in a context related to the Gophers.

• Gophie/Little Gophie/Baby Gophie – A term of endearment for a Gopher. Can sometimes be spelled as “Gophy”.
• Big Gophie – A name for large Gophers greater than one foot tall.
• Gophy Topi – The word for Gophertopia used by the Gophers.
• New Friend – Refers to a newly hatched Gopher.
• Candy – Can mean candy literally or any form of sugary treat. It is also used as a synoynm for food or anything a Gopher is capable of ingesting, including non-edible items that fit in their mouths.
• Cakey – The word for any sort of cakes or pies.
• Cooky – An alternate spelling of cookie. A less common variant of Candy.
• Ice Cream – A broad term that refers to not just ice cream but anything edible that looks like it. This includes chocolate sundaes.
• Milky – Can refer to milk or any sort of drinkable liquid that Gophers like such as milkshakes.
• Birthday – A generic term for a party or celebration. Rarely refers to an actual birthday given Gophertopia’s aversion to individuality.
• Huggy – A term used for Gophers embracing one another.
• In Trouble – A term used to describe jailtime for non-Gophers. Gophers themselves never get in trouble as it is part of the law that nothing is ever their fault.
• Meanie – Refers to the outcasts and undesirables of society. They either await or have already received some sort of punishment.
• Punish – A synonym for getting arrested and put in jail.
• Free Candy Forever – An abstract concept usually said aloud as a mantra. It refers to a spiritual ascension and being in harmony with the Gopher Mother and awaiting the promise of having endless candy.
• Become Candy – A euphemism for death for Gophers. When explained to a Gopher, it gets them excited rather than sad or scared. “Becoming candy” then becomes something that they look forward to, even if they have a tenuous grasp on the concept of mortality.
• Wakey-Wakey – Refers to the Calling, an event where all Gophers are summoned to be devoured by the Gopher Mother. Can also refer to spiritual awakening or just plainly waking up from a nap.

Gophers

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